A self portrait, yet without much expression, I sometimes feel the blankness on my face is more than the word opposite of how much I feel inside.
A lone rose in a sea of green plants. The contrasting colors are not only eye-popping but describe my relationship with the world. I feel like the lone rose, in a world that is quite unlike myself. I stand out but not in the way I want to.
A window in a blank blue room, I someimes feel that way, as if I’m gazing into an abyss and the abyss only looks back me and blinks.
A family album in my grandmother’s house, among all the relatives, children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews I wonder I fit in relation to all the others.
A lone lamp in a dark room, surrounded by miscellaneous items. It’s often hard for me to make sense of things, I often feel like a moth drawn to flame or light, only to be more confused in the light and leading myself to destruction.
Small details draw me in, a white sock on a foot, above wrapped by a blue blanket.
A wide angle, shows both clutter and order, somehow amongst all the items, the lamps and my grandma, place an order in a room, I feel to be disorganized and yet the disorganization provides its own order.
When you see your shadow, you wonder your place in the world? Why I am here? Am I as blank as my shadow or can make something unique, something that will last on its own merits and will never be confused for something or someone else?
For people with Autism, looking people in the eye can be painstakingly difficult, even sometimes staring yourself in the eye in the mirror can be a trying experience
By Jeffrey Zide
This is an interpretive project I’ve done on how Autism affects me and how I see the world, particularly as a visual person. This project is abstract, but it is an attempt to show the world how I see things in the world. Each photo shows an aspect of how Autism affects me. These photos hover around on two themes: trying to find an order in the midst of chaos, and the contrast of how I see myself and how the world sees me. The first photo represents my difficulty with eye contact and how disconcerting staring into a pair of eyes can be for me. The second photo represents a harsh contrast between colors, a small red flower in a sea of green — I stick out too in the world, but not in the way I want to or try. The other photos are a representation of that theme. Bridging the gap between chaos and order, between the world and myself, is the struggle of my existence.